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Getting Past No Book Summary
Once.on.the.balcony,.(a).you.name.the.tactic.used.by.the.other.side,.whether.stonewalling,.attacking.or.tricking,.(b).give.yourself.a.chance.to.think,.and.then.(c).determine.your.best.strategy.for.response,.which,.hopefully.is,.Dont.get.mad;.Dont.get.even;.Get.what.you.want.If...they...are...stonewalling,...they...expect...you...to...apply...pressure;...if...they...are...attacking,...they...expect...you...to...resistStep..four,..Ury..says,..is..to.."build..them..a..golden..bridge"..to..draw..them..from..their..position..to..an..agreementSuccessful...negotiators...turn...adversaries...into...problem-solving...partnersKey..takeaway:..Obstacles..to..cooperative..negotiation:..o..your..(emotional)..reaction....dont..strike..back,..dont..give..in,..dont..break..off....to..fight..this..its..important..to..recognize..the..OPs..tactic..(stone..wall,..attack,..trick..go..around,..deflect,..expose),..know..your..hot..buttons,..and..take..time..to..reflecto..their..emotion....understand..the..OPs..perspective..(even..paraphrase..what..they..say..to..demonstrate..your..understanding,..ask..them..to..correct..any..of..your..misunderstanding),..crate..an..atmosphere..of..agreement..by..using..the..word..yes..(prefereably..use..yes,..and..instead..of..yes,..but),..acknowledge..their..authority/competence,..make..I-statements..and..not..you-statementso..their..position....dont..reject,..reframe:..ask..the..OP..open-ended..(why?..Why..not?..What..if?..What..makes..that..fair?)..questions..in..order..to..clarify..their..interest,..test..their..opinions..and..attemot..ti..dusciver..their..standards..of..fairness;..ask..them..for..what..would..they..do..if..they..were..in..your..position..and..how..they..think..the..issue..should..be..handled;..o..their..dissatisfaction....remove..common..obstacles,..dont..dismiss..them..as..irrational,..spend..time..trying..to..understand..their..nned..and..their..reasoning,..consider..the..needs..for..recognition/identity/security,..ensure..that..the..proposal..is..consistent..with..their..principles..and..valueso..their..power....help..them..see..that..agreement..is..in..their..best..interest..(compare..BATNAs,..let..OP..know..the..consequeces..What..do..you..think..will..happen..if..we..dont..agree?/What..do..you..think..I..will..do?/What..will..you..do?..Identify..your..Best..Alternative..To..a..Negotiated..Agreement..then..use..that..as..leverage...Summary...The...Negotiation...Revolution...In...todays...interconnected,...contentious...world,...conflict...is...a...way...of...life d53ff467a2
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